Monday, February 14, 2011

I'm back

Long story short:

I can't separate myself from my job. My life is a long "To Do" list, and while I make an active effort to keep my life balanced, my career takes up over half of my time, and I like it that way.

Or I did.

About a year ago I discovered that the little start up business that I had poured my guts into for six years was going to be sold, and that my cut of the sale was going to be about 3%. You have to keep in mind that I had worked full-time for the company longer than the owner. I won the first government contract for the company, and I did it on my first try. I eventually grew that into a million dollar project that became the life support of the company during the recession, when almost all of our other work dried up.

So... that was all kinds of devastating. On top of the fact that I already had misgivings about the direction I had taken career-wise, I was now being told that the work that I had done wasn't valued. It took awhile for that to sink in, but if you look at my posting frequency, you can see that I became increasingly withdrawn, and then in May, I just stopped writing. At all.

Hmm... this seems to be more "long story" than "short."

So, if we just jump to the end... I resigned from my job and started my own business. I'm loving it. I wake up in the morning and bounce to my computer to get to work. My life and my work are all tangled up again, but I find myself smiling and singing at frequent intervals.

That being said, I'm still delicately managing a debilitating run-in with clinical depression. As luck would have it, I recently happened to catch an interview with Shawn Achor on the Groks Science Show (broadcast out of University of Chicago these days!) about his new book The Happiness Advantage, and I decided that I would like to implement one of his behavior modification exercises on the blog, partly to get me writing, and partly to do something that might make other people happy.

So every day for the next month I am going to post three things that are making me happy. I've done this intermittently before, but this is going to be a concerted effort. If anybody else wants to play along in the comments section, I would be thrilled and honored.

Thing #1: Feathered frost on my bedroom window.
This pattern of frost completely covered my window one morning. This kind of self-replicating braided pattern could probably be modeled using cellular automata, but I still just want to call it "magic."

Thing #2: Domestic partnership health insurance in New York.

Thing #3: Friends like you.


Dan said...

Wow. I know it's hard to let go after investing so much effort. For recent happy things I'd ditto the one about friends and add cooking and having time to think.

Anonymous said...

Thinking about things I was grateful for is one of the things that got me through 2009. (It also often helps me go back to sleep when I wake up in the middle of the night and start fretting.)

Three things that made me happy today:
1. Friends who emailed to wish me a Happy Arizona Statehood Day
2. New pictures of my baby niece
3. A blog post from Damon!


alyeskatraveler said...

3 things that made me happy today/yeesteray (it's ):
1. getting to make use of a Monet picture as part of my paying job.
2. Looking back at the portraits I took over the weekend.
3. Reading your 2 posts! (I want to know more about the new business!)

Bittersweet Sage said...

Thanks everybody!

@alyeskatraveler: I have started a business as a grant writer.