Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Bad Robot

My dear friend, the beautiful but deadly android known only as "cs10", sent me a link to the Writing Gifts section of Shakespeare's Den.

cs10 and I have long enjoyed congenial debates on the nature of evil. I sit in her lair and drink weak tea while she rinses the viscera out of her extensible talons. We are particularly interested in determining which actions constitute "evil", and which are merely "wicked." Our consensus is that wickedness is when one acts in a manner that is considered morally wrong but which does not directly harm others. Evil, on the other hand, is when harming others is pretty much the whole point. cs10 falls on one side of the divide, and I on the other.

This is why her email missive is so morally intriguing. On the surface it seems like a harmless act, perhaps even considerate. However, things are rarely so simple in her coiled chrome cortex, and any doubts as to her intentions were dispelled when her email ended in the villainous laugh: "muah ha ha!"

But is her message evil? Tempting me to disenfranchise my family and instead spend all of my Christmas savings on quill pens, sealing wax, and Jane Austen action figures... well that's certainly wicked, but it doesn't actually harm anyone. At worst I might be tempted to pickpocket, but I'm not likely to kill anyone. Even if I did go on a mad killing spree (and I doubt my knees are up for that), all of that blood would be on my hands, not hers.

Perhaps cs10 has decided to slip over to my side of the divide... to try a lighter shade of darkness. Wouldn't that be a delightful lesson for the holiday? At this magical time of year, even a blood-drunk, murderous android can set aside her arsenal of field surgery tools and embrace the common values that unite the disparate forms of life on this planet.

Erm... no. She just sent me a follow up email explaining that what she meant by her previous message was that she has killed my family, and that I may now spend my Christmas funds however I see fit.

Her early Christmas gift to me.

Oh, and she attached pictures. How thoughtful.

Well, at least that clarifies things.

Today's writing totals:
Blog: 372 words
Novel: 500 words (actual text of the actual novel... none of that planning crap)
DAILY TOTAL: 872 words

DECEMBER RUNNING TOTAL: 5,844/15,500 words


Anonymous said...

Nice! I'm intrigued. More please.

Bittersweet Sage said...

Be careful what you wish for, dbrycegh.